McGruff the Crime Dog

Thank you, Osama

You are the savior

Of our economy today

Now that the dot coms

Choked on their stock frauds

Goldmine's Homeland Security

Why not hire half the country

To spy on the other half?

No more unemployment

Or privacy enjoyment

Think of the dividends

Who can we trust?

We trust McGruff The Crime Dog

Our O.G. TV Narc

Since you've accepted being drug tested

At work, At school, At play, At home

You'll each rejoice at

Your new companion

Who follows you everywhere you go

Always dressed in a trenchcoat

And a McGruff doggie mask

Never know who they are

Kuz you know better than to ask

Who can we trust?

We trust McGruff The Crime Dog

Total Awareness

He sees you when you're sleeping

He knows when you're awake

He knows when you've been bad or good

So be good for the sake of

McGruff the Crime Dog

Watching your every move

Your guardian angel in a doggie mask

In bed while you're asleep

No home invasions

Beside you when you get it on

No date rape

Stick a thumbtack up your butt

When you're slacking on the job

Together

We will protect our way of life

Report all suspicious activity

Turn in your friends

Keep your home terrorist free

Take a Bite Out of Crime

Take a Bite Out of Crime!