Homemade Mummy

How to make a homemade mummy:

Get a corpse, get gauze, get comfy

Shampoo and disinfect dead fluffy

For the hallowed excavation of his x-marked tummy

Scalpel to stern, the butter cutter b-lines well

Tongs butterfly the unzipped feline shell

We'll be escorting vital organs

With exception of the precious kittens heart

Into the privacy of separate pickle jars

Or mayonnaise or jelly pick a card

Shit, pick a part and scissor

Stomach, lung, intestine or liver

In a world of sanitizers and preservatives forever

Brain exterminated through the whiskers (kiss & blow)

Ditched, I blank NY alone

We usher in the salts that call the husk home

Might embalm and stiffen and rid the fawn of all his liquids

Slather it in beeswax, wrap it up in ribbons

Like limb by limb, by tail by ear by chin

With the new hereafter I hereby win

I hope you vow to meow another day and never

Decompose, by the way before we seal these molds

The shorten version goes...

Take the brain out, leave the heart in

Take the brain out, leave the heart in

Paper playgrounds, leave your harvest

Take the brain out...

Gadzooks, punk's dead, last good gut wrenched

Antennae sam cook, black book pushead

Cat skulls stacked to the black hole sunset

Olive on a toothpick, Dagwood Bumstead

Tagged-hoof hatchery, matter amass naturally

Bad wolf, dash for the last rook castling

Blue ox, red plaid bass pro flannel king

Hasbro crown, sour apple Abba-Zabba teeth

In poorly taken pictures antiquating on his mantlepiece

Before we only spoke in letters cut from magazines

Folk broke bear claws over gross coffee

Not as milquestoast men, as los muertos walking

Ergo the scarecrow in rare barley

Squared-off harpy to armchair: say a prayer for me

I feel that mystifying times have gotten ugly

I also feel that you could learn a lot from a mummy

Take the brain out, leave the heart in

Take the brain out, leave the heart in

Major take down, eat your porridge

Take the brain out, leave the carcass

Take the brain out, leave the heart in

Take the brain out, leave the heart in

Games to reign now, pleased to bargain

Take the brain out, leafed in garlic

Take the brain out, leave the heart in

Take the brain out, leave the heart in

Fading halos, feeding herpes

Take the brain out, eager starlets

Take the brain out, leave the heart in

Take the brain out, leave the heart in

Take the brain out, leave the heart in

Take the brain out...