The Bed Song

Exhibit A

We are friends in a sleeping bag splitting the heat

We have one filthy pillow to share and your lips are in my hair

Someone upstairs has a rat that we laughed at

And people are drinking

And singing Van Halen and Slayer on a ukulele tear

Exhibit B

Well, we found an apartment

It's not much to look at

A futon on a floor

Torn-off desktop for a door

All the decor's made of milk crates and duct tape

And if we have sex

They can hear us through the floor

But we don't do that anymore

And I lay there wondering, what is the matter?

Is this a matter of worse or of better?

You took the blanket, so I took the bedsheet

But I would have held you if you'd only

Let me

Exhibit C

Look how quaint

And how quiet and private

Our paychecks have bought us a condo in town

It's the nicest flat around

You picked a mattress and had it delivered

And I walked upstairs

And the sight of it made my heart pound

And I wrapped my arms around me

And I stood there wondering, what is the matter?

Is this a matter of worse or of better?

You walked right past me and straightened the covers

But I would still love you if you wanted a lover

And you said

All the money in the world

Won't buy a bed so big and wide

To guarantee that you won't accidentally touch me

In the night

Exhibit D

Now we're both mostly paralyzed

Don't know how long we've been lying here in fear

Too afraid to even feel

I find my glasses and you turn the light out

Roll off on your side

Like you've rolled away for years

Holding back those king-size tears

And I still don't ask you, what is the matter?

Is this a matter of worse or of better?

You take the heart failure

I'll take the cancer

I've long stopped wondering why you don't answer

Exhibit E

You can certainly see how fulfilling a life

From the cost and size of stone of our final resting home

We got some nice ones right under a cherry tree

You and me lying the only way we know

Side by side and still and cold

And I finally ask you, what was the matter?

Was it a matter of worse or of better?

You stretch your arms out and finally face me

You say I would have told you

If you'd only asked me

If you'd only asked me

If you'd only asked me