Variety Speak

In Hollywood they have a different language that they speak

It's spoken by those folks who went to school for just one week

It's found inside Variety, a magazine they use

And no one understands it when they read the movie news

Like, Hix makes pix but the flick needs fix

Means someone made a movie that bombed

The veeps in charge are now at large

Means everyone involved is gone

The plot conflix, no beautiful chix

So it's coming out on video soon

They're taking their lix

'Cause the critics say nix

And the editors are gonna try to fix it in the mix

But the stock sees green on page thirteen

Means Disney's up a nickel a share

Stallone cuts deal for a major reel

Means Rocky number six, so beware

If you want the poop or you need the scoop

On Hollywood town this week

You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety Speak

Bob a doo bop, a bob a doo bah

Bob a doo bop, a bob a doo bah

A boffo smash makes Warner cash

Means there's gonna be a sequel next year

But Paramount hurts and they're losing their shirts

Means Schwarzenegger's doing King Lear

Oliver Stone does next Home Alone

Means he's getting paid an arm and a leg

The budget goes crunch but his name packs punch

So they called up the accountants and they're gonna do lunch

Well, the ratings smile on the O.J. trial

Means a movie of the week to premiere

Universal cuts deal with Mister Spiel

To do a hundred thousand movies a year

You gotta play it smart if you wanna be part

Of the crowd that's hip and chic

You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety Speak

Bob a doo bop, a bob a doo bah

Bob a doo bop, a bob a doo bah

Normal talk makes producers walk

You might as well speak Greek

You're gonna have to learn

Or the meeting will adjourn

Unless, my friend, you learn that variety speak

Bob a doo bop, a bob a doo bah

Bob a doo bop, a bob a doo bah

Bah doop bah doop bah doop bahhh dah