Satan Gave Me a Taco

Satan gave me a taco

And it made me really sick

The chicken was all raw

And the grease was mighty thick

The rice was all rancid

And the beans were so hard

I was getting kinda dizzy

Eatin' all the lard

There was aphids on the lettuce

And I ate every one

And after I was done

The salsa melted off my tongue

Pieces of tortilla

Got stuck in my throat

And the stains on my clothes

Burned a hole through my coat

My stomach was a'tremblin'

And I broke out in a rash

I was so dry and thirsty

And I didn't have no cash

So I went and found a hose

Tore off all my clothes

Turned on the water

And it shot right up my nose

Some old lady came along

And she thought I was a freak

So she beat me with her handbag

'til I could hardly speak

I was lying there naked

My body badly bruised

In a pool of my own blood

Unconscious and confused

Well the cops came and got me

And threw me in their van

And I woke up on the ceiling

And I couldn't find my hand

They took me to the judge

His eyes a'glowin' red

The courtroom was filled

With witches and the dead

Well the sheriff was a hell-hound

With fangs and claws

The prisoners were tied up

And chained to the walls

The air was getting thick

The smoke was getting thicker

The judge read the verdict

Said "cut off his head!"

Well they placed me on the altar

And they raised up the axe

My head was about to explode

When I noticed the marshall stacks

I noticed all the smoke machines

Cameras and the lights

Some guy with a microphone

Runnin' around dancin' in tights

And I noticed the crew

And the band playin' down below

And I realized I was in a rock video

So I went and joined the band

And I went out on tour

And I smoked a lot of heroin

And I passed out in manure

I made out with the groupies (aw yeah)

Started fires backstage (aw yeah, start 'em up)

Made a lot of money (aw yeah, I'm makin it)

And I gave it all away (give it all to me)

Well the band got killed (aw, bunch of losers)

So I started a solo career (aw haw, yeah

And I won all the awards (get 'em all now)

And I drank all the beer (drink it all up; get funky)

And I opened up the taco stand (aw haw, etc.)

Just to smell the smell

Cookin' with the devil

Fryin' down in hell

(git busy)