Qualifications

With my qualifications

With my qualifications

I could get me a job walking a dog

Chopping a log, cleaning a bog

With my qualifications

With my qualifications

I could see myself stacking a shelf

As a sales assistant at Do-It -Yourself

With my qualifications

With my qualifications

My brother worked night and day

At the Eurostar Terminal

And the government gave it away

So what's the point in university?

For three years I read philosophy

Now I read barcodes all day long

Beep-beep-beep sings that check-out song

With my qualifications

Talking bout my qualifications

Would you like to see my Ph.D.?

My BSE? My GCSE?

I gotta first in physics so I ought to know

If your fries are for here or to go