You're Pretty When I'm Drunk

One Night Me And The Crew Hit The Road On A Mission

To Slurp Free Brew And Go Fuzzy Flounder Fishin'

Kayjees On The Hi-Fi And The Keg Was Bottomless

Until We Brought Skip O' Pot2mus

And Daddy's Gonna Get Some Probably Underage And Dumb

And Everybody Knows That The Daddy Eats His Young

Lupus In The Lavatory Making A Big Stink

Macing Up The Toilet Seat And Pooping In The Sink

M.S.G.¹S Tanked Up And Wizzin' In A Cup

Waiting For A Sprinkle Genie To Come And Drink It Up

Cause I'm The One Bottle Willy With The 12 Horse Ale

After That I Get Silly Like Soupy Sales

Now It's Midnight And I'm Completely Boofy Blitzed

A Six Of Shlitz And The Jew Brew Manischewitz

With My Beer-Tinted Glasses I'm Ready To Bitty Battle

I'm Hungry Like The Wolf But I'll End Up Tending Cattle

Cause You're Pretty When I'm Drunk

(You're Pretty When I'm Drunk)

{X4}

(And I'm Pretty Fuckin' Drunk)

Here She Comes, A Funky Fried Cutie

Mr. Jimmy Pop Ali Is Gonna Get Some Booty

Cause I'm Mr. Mcfeelie With A Speedy Delivery

You'd Think I Was A Ditch The Way This Chick Was Diggin' Me

But Maybe I Should Check And See If This Is Where I Wanna Be

Hey Lupus Is She Cute? Yea For A Pygmie

Aw! What Do You Know? You're Probably Going Home Alone

And It Wouldn't Be The First Time That I Gave A Dog A Bone

Plus Beauty, It's Only Skin Deep

It's In The Eye Of The Beholder And My Beholder's About To Tweak

I Could Tap That Barrel, In Fact I Know I Can

It's A Ménagé A Trois You And Me And Heineken

Cause You're Pretty When I'm Drunk

(You're Pretty When I'm Drunk) {X4}

Regrets I've Had A Few

First And Foremost I'd Like To Mention You

For The Sake Of Conversation We'll Call You The Brand New Heavy

Your A Mix Between An Ugnaut And Eugene Levy

You Can Call It Big-Boned, I Prefer To Call It Gut

Your Buddha Your Shamu Your Jabba The Fuckin' Hutt

You Had Harpoon Scars And Your Boobies Were Hairy

I Smelt Tuna Melt But I Wasn¹T Gonna Worry

It Was 3 A.M. And I Wasn't Gettin' Squat

So I Rolled You Up In Flour And Aimed It For The Wet Spot

I Was Buttering Rolls Like A Soup Kitchen Christian

Then It Hit Me Something Bit Me While My Little Rod Was Fishin'

I Was Deep Sea Fishing I Took A Fat Chance

But How Was I Supposed To Know That Jabberjaws

Lived In Your Pants

At That Junction I Came To Realize

That Only Frank Purdue Likes Thighs That Size

Fatty Fatty Boom Ba Latty I Gotta Lament

That You Were Not A Girl You Were An Experiment

Cause You're Pretty When I'm Drunk

(You're Pretty When I'm Drunk)

You're Pretty When I'm Drunk

And I'm pretty fucking drunk