Me and Mr. Hohner

Me and Mr. Hohner

Standin’ on the corner

Not doin’ nothin’ to no one

When a squad car stops

And out jump cops

"You one o' them, if I ever saw one!"

"One o' what?" I said

As my face turned red

"Up against the wall," says the tall one

"That’s a cute mustache

Have ya got any hash?

I’d like to make a buy," says the small one

Now da whole thing’s silly

But I’m starin’ at the billy

Quietly askin’ myself now will he…

Use that thing

To make my eardrums ring?

It’s all a bad dream

And I’m in South Philly

Now tell ‘em, Mr. Hohner…

Me and Mr. Hohner

In Yuma, Arizona

Tryin’ to hitch a ride to Denver

Well, out o' a toll

Comes the highway patrol

To check up on my gender

Is it her or him?

Or maybe Tiny Tim?

"Now up against the fence," says the dense one

"You have picked a bad spot

To smoke your pot

Whatcha gonna do two against one?"

Now da whole thing’s silly

But I’m starin’ at the billy

Quietly askin’ myself now will he…

Use that thing

To make my eardrums ring

It’s all a bad dream

And I’m in South Philly

Now tell ‘em, Mr. Hohner…

Me and Mr. Hohner

Relaxin’ out at Kona

Hawaiian sun can be groovy

When a pair of MPs

Yell out, "Freeze!"

And I think I gotta part in a movie

"Hey! I’m talkin’ to you

Tell me what did I do?

You’re a draft card burner," says the thin one

"We can tell by your looks

That you read too many books o' wars

And that’s because ya ain’t been in one"

Now the whole thing’s silly

But I’m starin’ at the billy

Quietly askin’ myself now will he…

Use that thing

To make my eardrums ring

It’s all a bad dream

And I’m in South Philly

Now tell ‘em, Mr. Hohner…