Cuz I'm Drunk

I get rowdy, rough, drunk, excited and amped

On the table all night, I'm the beer pong champ

Drink until my mothafuckin' liver gets cramps

And I've lost everything within the pockets of my pants

Like, “Shit where's my phone? Keys? Shit, who has my wallet?”

“Dude, you probably lost it, you stupid alcoholic”

Ha, fuck you bitch, I weigh 160

So it only takes a few shots to get myself tipsy

A few more then I'm drunk, then I move on to wasted

Then black out, find me passed out on the pavement

Slurring every statement, vision getting blurry

Sippin' 40's from four-forty to two-thirty

I'm dirty, plus I ball like Michael

Get wasted like plastic that isn't recycled

I'm too fly, rhymin' it nice

So drunk I could get a DUI on a bike

Mix up the lime with a little coconut

Takin' shots outta half-filled solo cups

Get smashed like dropped pottery

Probably couldn't walk a straight line If I had a fuckin' cop watchin' me

Walkin' into shit like I couldn't avoid it

Just lookin' for a girl, tryna' make some poor choices

But whether I get laid or end up in a brawl

I just blame it on the a-a-alcohol

Cuz I'm drunk

So do not play around with me cuz I'm drunk

Somebody take away my keys cuz I'm drunk

Shit I can barely even see

I think it's time to make some bad decisions cuz I'm drunk

I come through already blunted like flip cup, who want it?

Twenty on the table son, I'm about to make a hundred

You can make it rain but I'm 'bout to make it sunny

That means I keep my money, buddy I'm not a dummy

“Day and Night” it's the kid, lookin' for some Cudi

Got my homie Chris Webby to make sure she ain't chubby

Cause I drank a lot of bubbly, in the living room stumblin'

Everybody lookin' lovely but I came here for the pussy

I love to start beef son I can't control it

Might wake up with missin' teeth like The Hangover

I might wake up with a naked slut from Angola

I don't know bro, I'm just saying I ain't stayin' sober

So move over 'fore this fat bitch puts roofies in my cola

Cool that's what I wanted wrestling sumo with polar

Bear, beware when it's time to go upstairs

Fuck a Trojan, got socks make sure you wear a pair

Cuz I'm drunk

So do not play around with me cuz I'm drunk

Somebody take away my keys cuz I'm drunk

Shit I can barely even see

I think it's time to make some bad decisions cuz I'm drunk