St. Brendan's Voyage

A boat sailed out of Brandon in the year of 501

'twas a damp and dirty mornin' Brendan's voyage it began

Tired of thinnin' turnips and cuttin' curley kale

When he got back from the creamery he hoisted up the sail

He ploughed a lonely furrow to the north, south, east and west

Of all the navigators, St. Brendan was the best

When he ran out of candles he was forced to make a stop

He tied up in Long Island and put America on the map

Did you know that Honolulu was found by a Kerryman

Who went on to find Australia then China and Japan

When he was touchin' 70, he began to miss the crack

Turnin' to his albatross he sez "I'm headin' back"

"Is it right or left for Gibraltar"

"What tack do I take for Mizen Head?"

"I'd love to settle down near Ventry Harbour"

St. Brendan to his albatross he said

To make it fast he bent the mast and built up mighty steam

Around Terra del Fuego and up the warm Gulf Stream

He crossed the last horizon, Mt. Brandon came in sight

And when he cleared the customs into Dingle for the night

When he got the Cordon Bleu he went to douse the drought

He headed west to Kruger's to murder pints of stout

Around by Ballyferriter and up the Conor Pass

He freewheeled into Brandon, the saint was home at last

"Is it right or left for Gibraltar"

"What tack do I take for Mizen Head?"

"I'd love to settle down near Ventry Harbour"

St. Brendan to his albatross he said

The entire population came the place was chock-a-block

Love nor money wouldn't get your nose inside the shop

The fishermen hauled up their nets, the farmers left their hay

Kerry people know that saints don't turn up every day

Everythin' was goin' great 'til Brendan did announce

His reason for returnin' was to try and set up house

The girls were flabbergasted at St. Bredan's neck

To seek a wife so late in life and him a total wreck

"Is it right or left for Gibraltar"

"What tack do I take for Mizen Head?"

"I'd love to settle down near Ventry Harbour"

St. Brendan to his albatross he said

Worn down by rejection that pierced his humble pride

"Begod", sez Brendan "If I run I'll surely catch the tide"

Turnin' on his sandals he made straight for the docks

And haulin' up his anchor he cast off from the rocks

As he sailed past Inishvickallaun there stood the albatross

"I knew you'd never stick it out, 'tis great to see you boss"

"I'm bailin' out" sez Brendan, "I badly need a break

A fortnight is about as much as any aul saint could take"

"Is it right or left for Gibraltar"

"What tack do I take for Mizen Head?"

"I'd love to settle down near Ventry Harbour"

St. Brendan to his albatross he said