How To Get Your Band On Television

I'm the Boss of the company

And I've got hunger working for me

Listen and you'll begin to understand

I built my profits on stolen land

It's the economics of supply and demand

And I make the demands around here

Product sells, people die

Same manipulation wrapped in lies

Give a little money and play your rock and roll

The biggest prizes to the biggest fools

Good evening ladies and gentlemen

Welcome to the show where you the audience participate

On our show tonight we got lost of surprises in store for you at home

In keeping with the fashion for charity, not change

Here's out contribution--we've called it Slag Aid

For every pop star that we slag off today

A million pounds will be given away

Paul McCartney - come on down

With crocodile tears to irrigate this ground

Make of Ethiopia a fertile paradise

Where everyone sings Beatles songs and buys shares in EMI

Charity, starvation, and rock and roll

Let it be, eh Paulie?

Freddie Mercury, this is your life

Thank the Lord that you were born white

And thank apartheid for this wonderful opportunity

To peddle your hypocrisy in Sun City

A bit of a hot potato in a moment, eh Fred, in South Africa?

Well I'm sure there's a video in there somewhere

David Bowie, the price is right

A suitful of compassion and a gobful of shite

Still the voices of those who doubt

Coca-Cola for the peasants to end this drought

David the world can only take so much

And with you around, we're in for a really hard time

Jagger and Richards, game for a laugh

Dancing us down the garden path

To a place where money grows on trees

Where cocaine habits are financed by hunger and disease

There's only one mountain in the rock and roll business

Ladies and Gentlemen, and it's Mick Jagger

Ask the puppet-masters who pull the strings

Who makes the money when the puppets sing

Ask the corporations where does the money go

Ask the empty-bellied children what are we singing for

And Cliff Richard, three, two, one

The God who remains when the religion's gone

Cliff, we've got a special surprise for you today

So come up closer, step this way

Cliff, you're such an example of moral worth

Such a purist saint come to bless our earth

That on behalf of our viewers watching on telly

And on behalf of the millions with empty bellies

We're donating something special that we're all going to like

Cliff Richard, we're going to nail you up to a cross tonight

Ladies and gentlemen, just imagine it, someone comes along, takes everything you own, your space, your house, separates you from your family and then hits you in the face if you say anything different. Well, that's what we've been doing to the third world for the past four hundred years. That's you and me. You the viewers at home, me in the studio, the pop stars, everyone. That's how we make the third world, every day, today and every day. If you want any correspondence with the program, just send your answers, letter bombs only, to BP House, Victoria Street, London, SW1

Thank you and good night

Feed the world

Starve the rich

Goodnight

I know there must be more

I know there must be more

Than giving just a little bit more

When half of this world is so helplessly poor

Starved of the real solution

Charity and tradition

And the cycle of hungry children

Will keep on going 'round

I know there must be more

Will keep on going 'round

I know there must be more

Will keep on going 'round

I know there must be more

'Till we burn the house of commons to the ground