Hillbilly Honeymoon

Been together four years and had five kids

So we did the right thing and finally got hitched

We tracked down the preacher after altar call

And proceeded to the VFW Hall

When he said, Cledus T. did you take Debra Liz

I stuttered, I do, knowin' I done did

The wedding cake was, 'Moon Pie', stacked three tiers

And the punch bowl flowed with Falstaff Beer

Now that's about as swanky as this town gets

For they throw rice, heck, they threw grits

No stretch limousine, just a full sized van

But at least we was headed for the promised land

On our hillbilly honeymoon

No champagne Caviar or Cordon Bleu

A can of Vienna Sausage and a Mountain Dew

And soda pop too

On our hillbilly honeymoon

Spent all our money on pay per view

Didn't need Playboy to get in the mood

Just a roller derby wrestlin' and a Rambo II

And III and IV, I was up in the room

On our hillbilly honeymoon

Well, after a while things simmered down

So we got dressed up for a night on the town

There ain't nothing too good for my sweetheart

Took a romantic stroll through the Super WalMart

We got back wanting some fine cuisine

We bought out the whole dern vending machine

On our hillbilly honeymoon

No dainty little plates of finger foods

Just M&M's Snickers and tomato juice

And Cheez Wiz too

On our hillbilly honeymoon

I spent half our savings on the hardware aisle

She spent the rest on the latest styles

A thong underwear that drove me wild

Back in the room, I tried them on too

On our hillbilly honeymoon

Well, it's been three years, got four more young'uns

Ain't a lot of time for much kissin' and a huggin'

For the last eight weeks I've slept on the couch

Think it's about time we renewed our vows

And took another hillbilly honeymoon

No [Incomprehensible] egg nog, just barbecue

And a box of wine will be nice down too

Won't need a corkscrew, yeah

On our hillbilly honeymoon

We can raid little Tommy's piggy bank

Scrape up a hundred dollars worth in change

Just enough for a night at the bowling lanes

And some new perfume, cheap motel room

On our hillbilly honeymoon

[Incomprehensible]