Dead Inside

My friends call me up to get me to go out on Friday night

But I just felt dead inside, like I had to hide

From small talk and boozed-up disapproving socialites

So many times I've tried by my brain is fried

My friends all try to tell me it's good to be alive

But they don't understand

That I'm already dead inside

I smoke myself stupid and I drink myself to sleep

I would step outside but I've admitted all defeat

I used to have a thirst for life but now I think I'm cursed

And I can't decide when I lost my pride

They say these are supposed to be the best years of my life

But they don't understand

That I'm already dead inside

I don't know who I am

I'm just a shell of a man

And don't bother asking

Why am I...?