Juanita

Well I'm finally gettin' used to the water

The way the tarantulas bite

Those federals didn't believe

I only came here to watch the bulls fight

Tell my mother, "I need a good lawyer"

Tell my father, "I'm getting a tan"

My sleepy siesta down south of the border

Is taking more time than I planned

Oh Juanita somebody betrayed me

They've given me ten years to life

Juanita I need you to save me

I promise I'll make you my wife

I got a big house in Milwaukee

With a color TV and a pool

A Naugahyde bar and a Cadillac car

Juanita they're waiting for you

Tie the burro up down in the courtyard

To keep the guard busy tonight

When you bring my dinner make sure the tortilla

Is filled with a gun or a knife

Hey Juanita somebody betrayed me

They've given me ten years to life

Juanita I need you to save me

I promise I'll make you my wife

Juanita you'll love Wisconsin

Wisconsin is gonna love you

Yes, all of Milwaukee speaks Spanish

Of course you're gonna wear American shoes

Lake Michigan tastes like tequila

Frijoles why they grow there on trees

You can say adios to the pigs and the goats

If you'll just do this one thing for me

But Juanita somebody betrayed me

They've given me ten years to life

Juanita I need you to save me

I promise I'll make you my wife

Juanita, I, I swear it was all a mistake

You see I was drowning out there in the ocean

And I saw this bale coming by man

So I grabbed it and I climbed up on top of it

And I found this stick and I rowed myself into shore

And when I got there

The border patrol was waiting for me

At the I didn't know what it was

I promise you if you'll just marry me

So I can become a citizen of Mexico

I'll take you to Milwaukee

You can meet all my friends

They got these big shiny motorcycles

And you can ride on the back of 'em with 'em

Really, Juanita would I lie to you?