A Letter to Robert

I remember a conversation eh Robert and I had underneath those pylons, eh.

He was talking about the um eh four horsemen of the apocalypse.

And I said "W-what in god name is that Robert?!"

And then he said "Well you know it's the movement of the hooves in the times of destruction."

And I said "The times of destruction, what's that Robert?"

And he said "Well you know the coming times that have been presaged by what's going on around us, you know the exorcism, terrorism, necrotism, the destruction of our civilisation, the chaos rule."

And I said "Well what on earth is the chaos rule Robert? You got marching on pretty unsteady ground watch that there's a bit of fox turd down there won't you tread on that Robert."

"I’m well aware of the fox turd." he said, "But that isn't the problem today, ahah oh no no no, look, it, the problem is women! You know there' bringing in all these moves to put out fox hunting, ah no no no the real beast is the woman. The real beast is a woman, you know, I mean they get less control of business, control of the home, control of children. Nasty, smashing, pastry filled woman. The washing up the drying up the hoovering ecstatic, the washing up the drying up, I like to use automatic! And you know sex is another thing that has been disturbing me." said Robert and I said

"Robert what's so disturbing about sex surely it's a natural function of the human race in the human being in this time of the body disturbed by welts and uh rashes and you know all kinds of vurial and viruses creeping across the body that we've never known before and our immune systems are unable to tolerate due to the great amount of pickling that we undergo from uh mobile phones, radio stations,

TV beams, secret hidden places in view run by the government that distort the facts of reality and cause terrorists to want to bomb us from across the fucking ocean man!" I said "Robert hold on, hold on, you know we're just living like we always have lived trying to have an honest, beautiful, direct life joining with nature, why, you know, I mean over there there is one football field of um rainforest disappearing every single second, whereas over here my friend's building a golf course. Now you know what could be the exact opposite of the destruction of greenery but a golf course? A golf course is peaceful, it's quiet, it's it's got space it's got a touch of the old English scenery. And you know quite often, I've I've come to believe there are certain configurations of holes on a golf course which are actually the landing points down which the terrestrial space craft sticks it's antennae upon landing, now you can laugh, eh I I see you are laughing Robert, but you just be careful of that mud. I I think that uh besides extraterrestrials we've got to look to the most essential things in our lives

which is the collapse of religion and Christianity and and the death rows of these things which throw up all sorts of consorting beasts and determination of of wishing to overcome each other and destroy each other’s way of life in order to survive, the the the the churches, the the mosques the they've always been built on power structures after all, now look at them. Well Robert I enjoy our walks in the country but you do seem a little diswandered and despairing" I said, "Oh me no I'm just a realist I like to see life as it is, I mean, you know, my life sometimes seems like a script from (east enders/the extenders??). But I don't let it get me down. I'm real, I'm real, I'm my heart is beating and pounding the air that I breath may be full of chemical additives and such and the soil I walk on may be full of concrete fed the destruction of the o-zones, but I am a happy man, now can you say that truly?" "At this juncture", I said to Robert, "It is become incumbered upon those of us who are willing to survive to actually leave this planet, and as you may say, soar into the sky."