Freddy's Dead

If you go to bed you might find Fred

Call Freud if annoyed with the thoughts in your head

The nightmares that you share come from sexual leering

Fuck Carl Jung and his dumb Darwinist theories

Freddy's all in your walls, he's all up in your tub

He got really long arms and he just wants a hug

He's made up of maggots and bleeds green slime

Cleared of all killings but he's still serving time

Wasn't read his rights so it's Five Nights at Freddy's

He's the deadly medley of features that are not friendly

A glove with five knives that's mighty fine for shredding

Fill your room with feathers and mess up all your bedding

A boiler room planet is where he resides

Just like a labyrinth composed of pipes

Ready or not no matter how you hide

It's always right behind with his knives in your spine

A complicated kill not the dopiest zombie

A steam punk that you debunk with copious coffee

Freddy Krueger hates Keurig and scoffs at biscotti

He's not Illuminati but he got a lot of bodies

One, two, he's coming for you

Three, four, better shut your door

Five, six, grab your crucifix

Slasher flicks: how I get my kicks

'41 December but there's no sign of Santa

For the Hathaway helpers had abandoned Amanda

While repeatedly raped in a cage full of crazies

A fearsome foe was forged in the fires of Hades

The bastard bouncing baby of 10,000 maniacs maybe

Wasn't born to be a brainiac a sadist in training

Killed a hamster with a hammer—what baffling behavior

Wait until later when he's relishing razors

Krueger was a cutter, kinda like Kylo

Always sorta pyscho and into gloves like Michael

Daily basement beatings made him impartial to pain

But his father got the furnace, soon he'd suffer the same

His mother was a nutter now, a nun in a habit

Never knew her or pursued, just managed his sadness

Dropout opted for adventure now pop's out of the picture

Christmas sweater forever and the fedora's a fixture

One, two, he's coming for you

Three, four, better shut your door

Five, six, grab your crucifix

Slasher flicks: how I get my kicks

A jovial janitor beneath the city's silos

At that point an amateur, his homework's homicidal

The jingle from his ride'll make the minors run amok

He's like sweet tooth see his truck and your fucked

Everything was just a front, a wife and kid he didn't love

In his cellar kept his clippings and a gallery of gloves

Twenty kids went missing, the police were pissing blood

Cathy was laughing but soon she'd be missing mom

Said she'd never tell but she totally did

He smiled through the trial, was acquitted, no shit

Parents wanted him punished 'cause the jury's unjust

Burned him the boiler room, hid the bones in a trunk

While his skin began to bubble his parting fully failed

Dream demons came to see him, skulls with spiny tails

They offered immortality, reality would be his dreams

Mortal Kombat fatalities on smart-alecky teens

One, two, he's coming for you

Three, four, better shut your door

Five, six, grab your crucifix

Slasher flicks: how I get my kicks

One, two, he's coming for you

Three, four, better shut your door

Five, six, grab your crucifix

Slasher flicks: how I get my kicks