Ratz

This one goes out to all the cuties in the quad

walking kitty corner with the itty bitty bod

telescopin out the window, waxin wise

while you walk, i stalk the fox box to the party on lock

security check soon my ids inspected

in the elevator waiting to get wrecked

open the door then get floored by the heat

you get passed a jay while they play pauls boutique

get a plasstic cup and ice unless you like it neat

all the girls stand up, all the guys take seats

smoke fills the air, you fill in Denise

on your major, on your minor, on the middle east for sheeza

high plains drifter this sorority sister

let the belt loop lead you to the liquor elixirs

smellin better than a bubble gum scratch and sniff sticker

we lick, shoot suck, then duck out even quicker

a mad dash to my crib, cuz my roomie is a geek

he’s playing Galaxies, makin friends on Dantooine

soon I’m climbing up a tree, beers clinging to my teeth

miss the window ledge, hit the hedge, land upon my keys

I am a dorm rat, that is the fact, jack,

Lookin at incense, playin with warm wax,

Hittin on the honeys at the vending machine

one hitters, tray dinners, all you need’s an id

I am a dorm rat, that is the fact, jack,

Lookin at incense, playin with warm wax,

Hittin on the honeys at the vending machine

one hitters, tray dinners, all you need’s an id

plaid pajama bottoms or a plaid pleated skirts

everything you girl’s wear makes me stare at the dirt

if I had balls I’d flirt with y’all in study hall

do the geek talk till your eyes roll back into your skull

but I’m a freek, spelled f-r-double 3-k

when you’re walking my way with my pockets I play

I can’t say what’s your name, care to chat for a bit

it’s me Brian, that guy, from that class, Russian lit?

Care to sit, have a chip, care for some fun dip

Dostoyevsky doesn’t impress me, what you think of that shit?

but I don’t I just twitch and I itch in my pants

play my gameboy advance until she’s finally walked past

a mad dash to my crib where I get on my blog

in search of Spock dot com check it out if you want

that’s the steam blowin scene where I reign supreme

Webster’s my Friendster I run the message board for Ween

it’s a mental mall for teens, it’s a paradise on earth

but in a way it’s like a curse, faster than a Google search

I just sit here and drink beer while my roommate flirts

at some party, with some hottie who’s all into Fred Durst

it makes my heart burst, and yet I do nothing

just get on the web and start bitchin and frontin

a dot com curmudgeon who’s love life is sufferin

it’s the rope or the oven or the hope I find love in the end

I am lab rat that is a sad fact

shining my test tubes, crying in restrooms

dorm life blows if you’ve got no place to go

I call my mother everyday, and say I wanna go home

I am lab rat that is a sad fact

shining my test tubes, crying in restrooms

dorm life blows if you’ve got no place to go

I call my mother everyday, and say I wanna go home