The Thing

While I was walking down the beach one bright and sunny day

I saw a great big wooden box a-floating in the bay

I pulled it in and opened it up and much to my surprise

I discovered a * * * right before my eyes

I tell y'all, I discovered a * * * right before my eyes

I picked it up and ran to town as happy as a king

I took it to a guy I knew who'd buy most anything

But this is what he hollered at me as I walked in his shop

"Ooh, get out of here with that * * * before I call a cop!

Son, get out of here with that * * * before I call a cop!"

I turned around and got right out, a-running for my life

And then I took it home with me to give it to my wife

And this is what she said at me as I walked in the door:

"Ooh, get out of here with that * * * and don't come back no more!

Please, get out of here with that * * * and don't come back no more!"

I wandered all around the town until I chanced to meet

A hobo who was looking for a handout on the street

He said he'd take most any old thing. He was a desperate man

But when I showed him the * * *, he turned around and ran

You know, when I showed him the * * *, he turned around and ran

I wandered on for many year, a victim of my fate

Until one day I came upon Saint Peter at the Gate

And when I tried to take it inside, he told me where to go:

"Get out of here with that * * *, and take it down below!

Ray, get out of here with that * * *, and take it down below!"

The moral of this story is if you're out on the beach

And you should see a great big box and it's within your reach

Don't ever stop and open it up. That's my advice to you

'Cause you'll never get rid of the * * *, no matter what you do

I tell you, you'll never get rid of the * * *, no matter what you do