Two Ton Tessie

Down in Nashville, Tennessee (oh yeah)

There's a sight you oughta see (oh yeah)

But as long as you can't get down there

I'll tell you all, so listen to me

There's a girl named Tessie Town (oh yeah)

And she weighs about four hundred pounds (oh yeah)

She's fat and fair, but she don't care

'Cause the boys all hang around

They call her Two Ton Tessie from Tennessee

Holds ten sweeties up on her knee

When she does, all the fun begins

When they play tennis on her double-chin

They all answer to her demands

And bring her tires for wedding bands

Well, I just got a little inside tip

They promised her a nightclub on her hip

Yeah, Two Ton Tessie from Nashville, Tennessee

(She's from Tennessee)

(Every time she struts around) Uh-huh

(She puts on an extra pound) Is that right?

(But it doesn't seem to worry her)

(The weight is making Tessie reknowned)

(Is a-trying to reduce)

(And she's got a good excuse)

(Fat and fair, but she don't care)

('Cause the boys all hang around)

(They call her) Two Ton Tessie from Tennessee

Goes in swimming up to her knee

Once she went in to her neck

The tide rose up and made the town a wreck

She was hit on the railroad track

Engines hit her and bounced right back

Her appendix had to come out fast

They couldn't operate, so they had to blast

On Two Ton Tessie from Nashville, Tennessee

(She's from Tennessee)

On a streetcar I heard 'em say

Six men gave her a seat one day

All the baseball players have stopped their gym

They run around Tessie just to stay in trim

Two ton Tessie from Knoxville, I mean a-Memphis

Oh-ah, Nashville, Tennessee

(She's from Tennessee)

A-that's right!