Thank You

You gave me language as a gift, I turned it against you

I was stupid, I was young, I was hanged by my Judas tongue

You shouldn’t give weapons to kids that don’t know better

I can't possibly understand that there’s no such thing as forever

For every letter in the alphabet

You said connect ‘em to a happy word, no matter how bad things get

I did my best, but the pickings got slim

Once I arrived at “X” and I had to think of synonyms

Weight ‘em against the antonyms, I was hanging with all the mannequins

Who are on a constant search for a person’s amputated limbs

Almost offered up my own, trading in my arms and legs

You said learn to express yourself if you’re gonna stand for things

I stood up with that expression, stood up against everything including you

I was stupid, I was adolescent, but I had your lessons to cling on to

And I want you to know how much it helped

Considering everything that I’d gone through

It was a period without periods, run on sentences were like binges

I was a comma with no cause, a rebel with no clause

Anxiety is no excuse once there’s nothing left to separate

We could have connected, but didn’t

I was ignorant, passed out on the spacebar

The further we drifted apart the closer

I came to realizing just how amazing you are

Now that you’re gone I'mma say it to the stars

‘Till my words knock worlds off their axes and the universe collapses

Thank you for the matches, for the gift of fire

For the wood and the axe, for whooping my ass

For the wheel even if you didn’t invent it

For the impact that you had on me, it’s epic, thank you for the effort

For teaching me the ABC’s even if I never make my way to “Z”

Even if I never do for someone else exactly what you did for me

Thank you

I was a stupid son of a gun with initials carved into me

I was a stray, a runaway, afraid someday you’d shoot me

So I scratched off the letters with a pocket knife

It’s how I loss my way when I was tossed into the fray

This is not my life, who am I kidding, it's a thank you note

Disguised as a written apology for everything you taught to me

So awkwardly I approach the open microphone with everything that I wrote

Clear my throat, adjust the collar on my coat

As I rock crowds, microphones and boats and then I stroke

Whatever little ego I have left, I should have left it at the alter

But I didn’t cause I’m an idiot, self-deprecating author

With a paperback edition that isn’t worth a flip through

If I don’t give you the credit that you deserve

You edited the words from the grave and beyond

From the first sign of sun raise at dawn

Till the moonbeam set blaze to my lawn

The universe collapses on my front steps

So we get to share in that moment, for just one moment

And nobody’s upset, there’s no more anger, there’s no more sunsets

So I crawl back in the chamber, you can shoot me up

You might as well, we had great communication before the tower fell

I'mma do my best, while you rest in peace