Maybe This Christmas

It's Christmas time and Santa's here,

Making the children smile

But he's just a pedophile

So you better watch your child.

Christmas trees in every house

Covered in shiny lights

But they just turn brown and die,

Or set your whole house on fire

These are the reasons I hate the season, but I'm a give it a try.

Maybe this year I won't be sad on Christmas

Maybe I'll have a happy holiday.

Replace my heart ache and my pain,

With mistletoe and candy canes

This Christmas, could go my way.

Having fun with all your friends,

Sipping on that eggnog,

But it just looks like jizz

All over your upper lips.

House made out of ginger bread

Cookies like Christmas trees

Giving ya heart disease

And type 2 diabetes.

(Type 2 diabetes)

These are the reasons I hate the season, but I'm a give it a try.

Maybe this year I won't be sad on Christmas

Maybe I'll have a happy holiday.

Replace my heart ache and my pain,

With mistletoe and candy canes

This Christmas, could go my way.

I've never seen reindeer fly

I've never heard the sleigh bells ring

I've never seen a snowman come to life

I've never heard the angels sing

But I hope, and I pray

That maybe this Christmas day

That'll change.

Maybe this year I won't be sad on Christmas

Maybe I'll have a happy holiday.

Replace my heart ache and my pain,

With mistletoe and candy canes

This Christmas, could go my way...

Maybe this year I won't be sad on Christmas

Maybe I'll have a happy holiday.

Replace my heart ache and my pain,

Let's just dance the night away.

This Christmas, is going my way.

Just dance with me.