Shores of California

He's been trying with limited success

To get this girl to let him get into her dress

But every time he thinks he's getting close

She threatens death before he gets a chance

And that's the way is in Minnesota

That's the way is in Oklahoma

That's the way it's been since protozoa

First climbed onto the shores of California

And she's been trying with limited success

To get him to turn out the lights and dance

'Cause like any girl all she really wants

Is that fickle little bitch romance, that fickle little bitch romance

And that is why the girl is called a tease

And that is why the guy is called a sleaze

And that's why God made escort agencies

One life to live and mace and GHB

And that's the way it is in Minnesota

That's the way it is in Oklahoma, homa

That's the way since the animals and Noah

First climbed onto shores of California

Must not be too kind

Stop thinking love is blind

Clench your fists, yeah, right

She's just not my type

Why all these conflicting specifications

Maybe to prevent overpopulation

All I know, is that all around the nation

The girls are cryin' and the boys are masturbatin'

The girls are cryin' and the boys are masturbatin'

And that's the way it is in Minnesota

That's the way it is in Oklahoma, homa

The way since Aristophanes and homer

Wrote the Iliad and Lysistrata

That's the way it is in Minnesota

That's the way it is in Oklahoma, homa

That's the way since the ancient protozoa

First climbed onto the shores of California